I try not to ever even step foot inside of a Kmart. Why you say? Because they suck. Why did they file for bankruptcy in 2002? I do not believe that it was strong competition from Walmart. Here are a few reasons that I believe Kmart had to file bankruptcy and in general sucks. Some, but not all of these apply to Walmart as well.

  • When was the last time you went insode of a Kmart and thought “Damn these floors are clean”? They always look dingy. Stained from decades of barefooted Dirt Kids® I’m sure.
  • Screaming babies. I know that the store does not have much control over when children decide to cry. I also know that attracting the kind of clientele that wear nothing but sweat pants, begs for a store full of crying, future rolling meth lab entrepreneurs.
  • One cashier in the whole goddamned place. One. Not one and a backup somewhere staying busy. As the line slithers through the store like that red sticky stuff on the floor. No need to call another cashier for help. You are stuck in Kmart hell. You have sinned and this is your penance.

Those are but a few of the reasons I can think of that Kmart blows goats. Then again, I was only there for 25 minutes. Two to find my item and 23 to be inspired to bitch about it.

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